Nadia, thank you for writing about this. I am in an extremely similar situation - moved country, husband works, I write & freelance. I relate a lot to what you're saying. For a few months when I didn't work at all (admin issues), I felt so stressed that I wasn't pulling my weight, that I wasn't achieving enough with my writing. Even though I'd longed for a day I wouldn't have to work, in practice it was terrible for my mental health. Maybe I'm too wired into social pressure to work, but it really is such a complex emotional thing.
Glad to hear it resonated! It's definitely a complex subject and situation to be in. I was the same - I'd been desperate to be free of my job and be able to focus on writing and settling into our new life here, but it was much harder mentally than I'd ever imagined. I think there's (rightly) a lot of longing right now to move away from the traditional model of full-time salaried work, but I wonder if there's a real understanding of just how tricky it is in practice to unlearn internalised capitalist standards about work and worth.
This is a great piece, Nadia. It's such a complicated topic to explore, and I've had so many thoughts about it and the amount we need to work to cover costs of living over the past year. I'm with you in being all for UBI, and I'd be thrilled with a four-day work week. I really struggle with trying to work full-time and then doing my share of the house stuff / life admin, and my partner and I split things equally - maybe he does a bit more than me. It's a huge challenge for me but, ironically, when I am on top of that stuff I find it easier to get my work done, so it's a vicious cycle.
Really glad you liked it, it was quite hard to get down! There's just so much to think about. I wish more workplaces were on board with a four-day week, it would make such a difference. Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience too. There really aren't enough hours in the day to keep on top of everything, not to mention also finding time for rest and creativity. I hope things change.
I really appreciate your reflections on such a complicated and multifaceted topic. Me and my boyfriend have been playing with the idea of moving to rural Sweden. This alternative life that I’m dreaming up consists mostly of writing, spending time outdoors and raising my future children. The idea is that this would be easier there, as the costs of living (especially housing) are less than in a large Western European city. I long for the spaciousness and the freedom it portrays as my government job and city life are not fulfilling me anymore in the ways they once did. At the same time I’m very reluctant to give up my financial independence, my status as a fulltime working woman, and the feeling that I somehow contribute to our society beyond my own bubble. It’s complicated...
Thanks for reading, Lieke. It really is complicated! It took me a long time to reformulate my feelings around worth and work to fit this new life; it's still an ongoing process. I hope you're able to think it all through in time and move towards a fulfilling life.
I too loved this piece. I’m towards the end of my working life and for various reasons have (been able to) moved to a 3 day week, so I’m one of the oldies “not fully contributing economically”, gah! But of course it’s so complex. I thought your links to the needs of capitalism (to keep us all ensnared in production and consumerism) and the pernicious ableism that exists, as well as links in those other articles to the patriarchy that berates us for wanting it all while expecting us to do it all, were so correct too. I identified with your trying to find a balanced way to live your life without waking up thinking of all the things you ‘had to do’. That guilt is so pervasive in the way we have been conditioned. And the need for a UBI has never been so necessary ... I too am feeling particularly aggrieved as I head towards my 60th birthday as that UBI for older citizens, as inadequate as it now is, has been snatched away for seven years more toil. N.B. I too recognise my privilege (a home, boomer husband, some savings) so feel comparatively lucky, but still think it’s something worth examining and being conscious of. The performativity, and might I say smugness, of those stay at home girlfriends you write about just smacks of a lack of consciousness.
So glad you enjoyed it, Sue! It's so complex isn't it? And age is just another aspect of it. The guilt and the feeling that we should be doing more and be grateful for the scraps we get thrown really does take a lot of active resistance. Tear it all down I say!
Nadia, thank you for writing about this. I am in an extremely similar situation - moved country, husband works, I write & freelance. I relate a lot to what you're saying. For a few months when I didn't work at all (admin issues), I felt so stressed that I wasn't pulling my weight, that I wasn't achieving enough with my writing. Even though I'd longed for a day I wouldn't have to work, in practice it was terrible for my mental health. Maybe I'm too wired into social pressure to work, but it really is such a complex emotional thing.
Glad to hear it resonated! It's definitely a complex subject and situation to be in. I was the same - I'd been desperate to be free of my job and be able to focus on writing and settling into our new life here, but it was much harder mentally than I'd ever imagined. I think there's (rightly) a lot of longing right now to move away from the traditional model of full-time salaried work, but I wonder if there's a real understanding of just how tricky it is in practice to unlearn internalised capitalist standards about work and worth.
This is a great piece, Nadia. It's such a complicated topic to explore, and I've had so many thoughts about it and the amount we need to work to cover costs of living over the past year. I'm with you in being all for UBI, and I'd be thrilled with a four-day work week. I really struggle with trying to work full-time and then doing my share of the house stuff / life admin, and my partner and I split things equally - maybe he does a bit more than me. It's a huge challenge for me but, ironically, when I am on top of that stuff I find it easier to get my work done, so it's a vicious cycle.
Really glad you liked it, it was quite hard to get down! There's just so much to think about. I wish more workplaces were on board with a four-day week, it would make such a difference. Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience too. There really aren't enough hours in the day to keep on top of everything, not to mention also finding time for rest and creativity. I hope things change.
I really appreciate your reflections on such a complicated and multifaceted topic. Me and my boyfriend have been playing with the idea of moving to rural Sweden. This alternative life that I’m dreaming up consists mostly of writing, spending time outdoors and raising my future children. The idea is that this would be easier there, as the costs of living (especially housing) are less than in a large Western European city. I long for the spaciousness and the freedom it portrays as my government job and city life are not fulfilling me anymore in the ways they once did. At the same time I’m very reluctant to give up my financial independence, my status as a fulltime working woman, and the feeling that I somehow contribute to our society beyond my own bubble. It’s complicated...
Thanks for reading, Lieke. It really is complicated! It took me a long time to reformulate my feelings around worth and work to fit this new life; it's still an ongoing process. I hope you're able to think it all through in time and move towards a fulfilling life.
I too loved this piece. I’m towards the end of my working life and for various reasons have (been able to) moved to a 3 day week, so I’m one of the oldies “not fully contributing economically”, gah! But of course it’s so complex. I thought your links to the needs of capitalism (to keep us all ensnared in production and consumerism) and the pernicious ableism that exists, as well as links in those other articles to the patriarchy that berates us for wanting it all while expecting us to do it all, were so correct too. I identified with your trying to find a balanced way to live your life without waking up thinking of all the things you ‘had to do’. That guilt is so pervasive in the way we have been conditioned. And the need for a UBI has never been so necessary ... I too am feeling particularly aggrieved as I head towards my 60th birthday as that UBI for older citizens, as inadequate as it now is, has been snatched away for seven years more toil. N.B. I too recognise my privilege (a home, boomer husband, some savings) so feel comparatively lucky, but still think it’s something worth examining and being conscious of. The performativity, and might I say smugness, of those stay at home girlfriends you write about just smacks of a lack of consciousness.
So glad you enjoyed it, Sue! It's so complex isn't it? And age is just another aspect of it. The guilt and the feeling that we should be doing more and be grateful for the scraps we get thrown really does take a lot of active resistance. Tear it all down I say!